Playing at Grown ups

A Pink Dormouse Production

Chapter Fourteen

Avon

He paused at the top of the stairs, unsure how to break Dariel’s news to Vila. Superficially, the message had been a straightforward delivery of information, but running beneath it was the implication that all was far from well beyond Astbury. He opened the door and waited for Vila to notice him.

"Expected you back hours ago." Sitting cross-legged on the floor, Vila had a deck of cards spread in three semicircles around him.

"There was... a message- from Marianne- sent to Dariel’s computer. It would seem she ran into trouble sooner than she expected and she wants a functional detector shield to be ready by the time she returns to Base."

Vila stood up and walked over to where Avon was standing.

"She’s okay, though?"

"She did not say otherwise. Apparently she was ambushed by three pursuit ships but had a little assistance from a rebel reconnaissance vessel."

"Trust Marianne to get lucky again. Was the Sappho damaged?"

"Not badly." He’s taking the news remarkably well. I expected him to be more worried by the implications than I am. After all his reasons to be concerned for Marianne’s safety far outweigh mine.

"So what aren’t you tellin’ me? And where’ve you bin all afternoon? On second thoughts, sit yourself down first, then tell me: you don’t look so good." Avon let Vila lead him over to the nearer of the sofas.

"That was the full extent of the message. I have been clearing space in one of Dariel’s warehouses so I can get on with building a prototype detector shield. If Marianne can run field trials, it will be another product that the Tech Dev Co can start marketing as soon as the factory is built."

"So Marianne’s safe and the Sappho’s in one piece. Nothin’ to worry about. If you get this new gadget sorted as well, then we might have a bit more money comin’ in from sellin’ it."

"I thought we were safe here..." Avon rested his head on Vila’s shoulder.

"Well we are. Of the people who know who we are, only three go offworld on a regular basis an’ none of them are likely to talk."

"What if she had been captured? A freighter with that level of modification is bound to raise questions."

"Never happen. She believes in ‘Death before Dishonour’ the whole way: would never let them take her alive."

"Even so- knowing that- you are not in the least worried about her?"

"Oh, I worry about her; just don’t see the point in frettin’ about it. Marianne knows how to take care of herself; if it was you out there I’d be frantic by now ’cos you’re far more likely to have all manner of nasty things happen to you. Can’t..."

If Vila is unmoved by the news then why should I react differently? Nothing here is changed- we are still protected; I had intended to have a working prototype ready for Marianne’s return so the deadline is no tighter. I already owe her enough without knowing that she would give her life- no, not for me- for what she believes in. But I am part of that now, no matter that I did not choose to be. I never wanted to be responsible for endangering others but I did it anyway- Vila- too many times... need to remember...

"Are you even listenin’ to me? Sod it, Avon, what’s up wi’ you today? Come to think of it, you haven’t been right since the ox roast."

"I think you’ll find," Avon stood up, "that I have ‘not been right’ for considerably longer than that." He walked through to the bedroom, closing the door firmly behind him, and sat on the bed.

Vila

"Damn. After I promised Marianne I wouldn’t go worryin’ about her- never occurred to me she’d forget to mention it to Avon." He gathered up the tarot cards and replaced them in their bag. "Well, he can just sulk on his own for once- see if I care. Talking to yourself again, Vila? Not good- people might think you’re the mad one." Obviously he’s not listening then. Think I should do somethin’ for Marianne anyway...

He retrieved a large candle from the cupboard under the sink (power-cuts were not unheard of on frontier worlds after all) and stood it on a saucer in the living room window.

Sure I’m supposed to say somethin’ specific when I do this. "This is for you Marianne. If your Powers exist, I hope they’re watchin’ out for you." He lit the candle and watched the flame flickering in the slight breeze from the climate control.

He looked up from the reader long enough to register that the sound had indeed been the bedroom door opening, then moved over to make space on the sofa for Avon and returned his attention to the novel.

"If I hurt your feelings, I assure you it was unintentional." Vila thought about offering an apology of his own, but was too surprised by how quickly Avon had backed down to figure out what he had to be sorry for.

"Well don’t just stand there, get yourself over here where you belong." He’s headin’ back to how he was on the Sappho; I’ve got to stop him pushin’ himself so hard. Mebbe I should get him to talk to Storme- jus’ don’t know how well he’s gonna take the news that I’ve bin seein’ her professionally all this time.

"Do you think that I am mad?" Avon lay across the sofa and settled his head in Vila’s lap.

"I’m not sure, love, you’re way outside most people’s parameters of normality but I’ve seen you a lot less sane before."

"It was really that bad at the end? I can still only remember feelings, not events, and it’s hard to place them in context."

"It was bad- shouldn’t have given up on you the way I did though- so you’d better listen to me now. Delegate this stuff you’re doin’ for Marianne. You’ve said yourself there’s guys at the Tech Dev Co nearly as good as you: why not get them to do some work for once?"

"They have their own projects."

"So call a meeting. What’s the point of being a famous genius if you can’t throw your weight around?"

"And what do you propose I do with all this free time you are arranging for me?"

"Get your head together- properly this time- go talk to Storme: she’s good at what she does."

"Which is?" Avon was going to need a lot more convincing.

"Not sure how she sees herself really, but she helps people an’ she’s a good listener. You think you were the only one who was fucked up when we got here?" Avon stared questioningly up at him. "Oh yeah, you think it was easy lookin’ after you an’ livin’ up to Marianne’s expectations an’ wonderin’ if the others were safe. Then you spent our first two months here brooding while I had to make sure we had money to buy food an’ pay the rent- just a good job Mac’s a soft touch. So what if some of me money went on payin’ Storme to help me make sense of it all?"

"Just how much have you told her about me?" Avon sat up and looked as if he was thinking of escaping again.

"Not much," Vila said hastily, "we just talk about how stuff’s goin’ an’ that. Look, you want to be well again, don’t you? She’ll kill me if she knows I’ve told you but she was a top research psychologist before her world was taken over by the Federation."

"Then what happened?"

"She was pregnant with Jasmine, an’ Ermine was just a toddler- she came here- her husband stayed to help the resistance.

"Look I know some of the work she was doin’ back then- there’s no way the Federation were gonna let her carry on wi’ it- showed up far too many flaws in the way things were bein’ done."

"Very well, Vila, I shall accept your assurances as to Storme’s character... and I’ll try not to work as hard. But don’t expect any miraculous recovery, I may be too far gone for that."

"It’s a start. Promise I won’t question your sanity too often- only once a day or so."

Storme

"You do realise what you are taking on with this?" Vila had evidently been giving the matter a lot of thought. "Those last months on Xenon were the worst of my life, spent the better part of them terrified. Avon doesn’t scare easily but I doubt he had an easy time of it. I almost wish I’d tried harder to get through to him at the time but I think he’d stopped taking notice of me by then."

"If you’re pushing him into this because of your own guilt-"

"No. Least that’s not the main reason: I want him to be well again, really well, not just pretending or throwing himself into his work so’s he doesn’t have time to think about anythin’ else."

"But you’re not sure if it can be done- or you’re not sure I can do it?" Storme asked.

"I’m not sayin’ you aren’t good at what you do, it’s just he’s had so many people fucking with his mind already. I’ve been there: difference is they didn’t try half the stuff on me they did with him; never mattered how they broke me so long as I turned into a responsible little worker. Wi' Avon there was always something else they wanted- information, stuff he could do for them, names of the people he was involved with- an’ they couldn’t risk losing any of his useful skills so they used all their sneakier methods on him. Then there was all that business wi’ his family too: I’m not surprised he’s so paranoid. Look, if I’m puttin’ you off jus’ tell me an’ I’ll cope wi’ him best I can till I find someone who’s qualified in this sort of thing."

"I don’t think qualifications are what matters," said Storme, "it’s finding someone he’ll actually be prepared to talk to. He could very well turn round and tell me to get lost if he’s that badly scarred by what he’s already been through."

"He said he’d talk to you, so he will. Just watch yourself- he’s bin flyin’ off the handle very easily recently. I’m workin’ tomorrow afternoon so you can drop round an’ see him then."

Vila

"Quiet in here tonight." Avon continued to stare at the red wine he was yet to start drinking. "I said- oh I may as well talk to meself."

"I was listening." Avon looked up briefly, then returned his gaze to his drink.

"Great, wonderful, fantastic. You really make me evening comin’ in here you know. Not surprisin’ we’re short o’ customers, the mood you’re in."

"I’m... sorry. I’ll go, shall I?"

"If you want." Avon started to stand up. "Look, I didn’t mean it like that. You can stay if you want, at least I’ll have company if no one else’s going to show all night."

"Vila, I know this can’t be easy on you..."

"Save it for Storme. For what it’s worth, I knew what I was lettin’ meself in for wi’ you so there’s no need to feel guilty about it now. Look, it’s quiet, nothin’ we can do about that. Why don’t we go have a game of pool an’ if anyone actually comes in I can serve them and then come back to you?"

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